BUT . . . COMICS . . .

The following is one of the best experiences and favorite moments of my life. It combined three of my favorite and important things in my life: My Writing, Professional Wrestling and Comic books.

This took place in the summer of ’16 at a Click-Jab Wrestling event in downtown Phoenix. The Wrestling Show itself was not the big draw – the signing event was.

I call this true tale BUT . . . COMICS . . .

Dave Parrish and I attended this show, unfortunately the third member of our Wrestling Trimuvate was unable to make it.

At this show I met Divari, James Storm, EC3, GANGREL, was groped by two female wrestlers and met Bret ‘The Hit Man’ Hart! I didn’t believe anything could top finally meeting Bret Hart. I had missed meeting him years early during WrestleMania week because my Dad died that day.

But something did top meeting Bret Hart . . . that was meeting the then Ring Of Honor World Tag Team Champions of the World: Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian, The Addiction (aka Bad Influence).

Knowing they are both big comic book fans I brought along copies of my original graphic novel Rushmore. When talking to them at their table, getting autographs and pictures, I gave them each a copy of Rushmore.

Part one of one of the best experiences and favorite moments of my life occurred right then: Kazarian handed me his pen and asked me to sign Rushmore for him! Chris did the same. How Cool is that? I came to meet them, get a pic and autographs, and they ask for mine!

Then part two happened! Kazarian stayed professional, there were other people in line. Daniels grabbed a chair, turned it to face the wall and started reading Rushmore! When Kazarian told him people were waiting, he just respond: “But . . . Comics!”

Of course Daniels went back to doing what he was there for, the meet and greet.

Part three happened later, when Kazarian and Daniels actually carried their copies of Rushmore to the ring with them for their match on the card.

Awesome.

Ace.

BLOG RETURN ANNOUNCEMENT – JULY 1ST

The Blogs Are Back!

Starting Monday, July 1st with WrestleMentary!

When I originally announced this current Blog Hiatus, I said ALL my Blogs would return starting July 1st with WrestleMentary. Then, a few weeks later I mentioned pushing that return back to my Birthday, July 27th. Well, I’m changing that again and going back to the original plan: July 1st

As of Monday, July 1st the Blogs will return from Hiatus starting with Wrestlementary.

From there all the Blogs (except Wrestlementary) will return on the originally planned 2019 Monthly Schedule.

• Wednesday, 7/3 – THE BURNING MIND
• Thursday, 7/11 – THIS IS A TRUE STORY
• Friday, 7/19 – WHAT I WATCH I REVIEW
• Sunday, 7/28 – RAW FLESH
• Wednesday, 7/31 – STATE OF THE MASTER

There is no set posting schedule for Wrestlementary as their will be more than one monthly post. So the schedule will be more random. There will however be regular WWE Coverage focused around the time of PPVs or the dreaded “Super Shows.”

As for the rest of the year, the Blogs should follow the following schedule. Though, there may be times I post a little more often.

POSTING SCHEDULE – REMAINDER OF 2019

• 1ST Wednesday of each Month – THE BURNING MIND
• 2ND Thursday of each Month – THIS IS A TRUE STORY
• 3RD Friday of each Month – WHAT I WATCH I REVIEW
• 4TH Sunday of each Month – RAW FLESH
• Last Day of each Month – STATE OF THE MASTER
• WrestleMentary: Random Posts

See you July 1st,

 - Ace

The State of the Blogs May 2019

Okay, this State Of is going out across all my Blogs. It’s a companion piece to my State of the Master.

I am far behind on all my Blogs because of my shoulder, and at times – I must admit – myself allowing my shoulder issues to stop me.

I started this year with great plans, but didn’t . . .

As I wrote in my State of the Master Blog, effective immediately I’m in going into Focus Mode and Catch Up Mode. I have to do this.

Originally, the plan was to officially suspend until July 1st. But that has changed due to an emergency.
My dog, Zoie, had to undergo emergency surgery to be spade (which was never done) and remove a breast growth. She is recovering now, and we have found out the tumor was a low-grade cancer, but it has all been removed.

This was very stressful on her, me and Mom. So I put everything to the side to take care of the little girl. She is doing fine right now and gets her cone and stitches removed Monday, May 13th. I could do no less for Zoie as she is the one who got my mom the day I collapse in the back yard from the Aneurysm, if not for her I may have died. 

That said, I am now suspending the Blogs until their return on my Birthday: Sunday, July 27th. The day the Blogs will return with RAW FLESH . . . and move forward from there.

As originally stated I will try and post on the original 2019 schedule from that point on AND post on a Catch Up Schedule, posting all the stuff from this year that hasn’t been posted.

Yes, I will be writing, editing and prepping all the Blog Posts I have missed up to that point.

I’ll also be getting caught up on projects this year that I have gotten behind on.

This is the LAST Time I will be doing this and suspending the Blogs. It’s something I have to do, for myself and to move forward.

Later,

Ace Masters.

Kick That Wall

Let me ask you a question – Have you ever meet that guy who thinks he can beat anyone up?

Maybe some jerk who thinks because he has studied martial arts he can fight anyone?

I’m sure most people have.

This is a True Story I call KICK THAT WALL.

This happened way back in High School, I think it was my sophomore year. I don’t even remember this guy’s name or much about him. I didn’t know him that well, and rarely had anything to do with him. I remember this, he seemed like a nice guy, not really a bully, but often came off like a jerk. He made sure that everybody knew he knew karate, and liked to showcase kicks to prove it. Jerk.

His attitude went against the whole point of martial arts.

He would often showcase his (claimed) skills in the most idiotic way. Kicking right at someone to show off. He would throw kicks over someone’s head to prove he could do it. He would also throw kicks right at someone’s head and stop just before hitting to show how much movement control he had – and that he could kick them if he wanted.

He tried this on me one day. I was walking by the library with a couple of friends, when he suddenly walked up and throw a round house kick at my head, stopping just short of hitting me in the temple. I never saw him until the last second, and flinched to avoid getting hit when I saw him out of the corner of my eye.

He laughed, thinking it was funny.

I was pissed and shoved his ass to the floor.

It was on.

He stood up, I dropped my bag and we were nose to nose, yelling and screaming. He didn’t like my reaction to his ‘goofing around,’ I didn’t like his asshole antics. I know people heard us, and some other students started showing up to see what was going on.

I shoved him back again. Pissed, he started throwing kicks to my head, but never fully extending his legs. He was trying to scare me and prove he could ‘take me out’ anytime.

I wasn’t an idiot. I keep stepping back, avoiding the kicks. I didn’t care if he or others here thought I was afraid. I finally hit the wall, with nowhere to go. He kept up the taunting, then I hit back. I mocked him for not having the guts to actually kick me, and for being a pussy who couldn’t fight.

This pissed him off and he went for a full force thrust kick right at my face. Again, I’m no idiot. I wasn’t going to stand there and let him kick me. He kicked, I moved . . .

And he put his foot THREW the damn wall!

Yes, this is true. He went to kick me right in the face, I moved and he put his foot through the plaster wall.

He stood there looking silly, trying to keep his balance on one foot while the other was stuck in the wall. And he wanted me to help him! TOUGH!

I grabbed my bag and left him there, he would get out himself or someone else who was around and watching would help him.

I did do one thing – I let him know that I could have hurt him and hurt him badly at that point and there would have been nothing he could do about it, but I chose not to.

 - Ace Masters

This Is A True Story . . . I Think I Am In A . . .

Hello All,

I know the brief ‘State Of’ was the first post for 2019, but here is the first actual True Story . . . and what a story.

It is a recent true story, with this event happening this past Halloween, Wednesday, October 31, 2018. And like any good story (Horror or not), it is scary, dramatic and funny at the same time.

At some point on the afternoon of Wednesday, October 31 I woke from a nap to find about 6 or 7 people staring down at me, overhead lighting glaring into my eyes and a simple question being asked: “Do you know where you are?”

Simple . . . Unless it is being asked by Hello Kitty.

Yep, Hello Kitty and friends were staring down at me, asking me “Do you know where you are?”

And let me be clear on this, Hello Kitty’s friends were Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula and a Ghost. Plus the scariest of them all when you wake up like this: Doctors and Nurses!

“In a hospital I think,” I answer sheepishly.

I know they were concerned, as they were running around, checking my vitals and asking me important questions. I think my confusion about what was going on concerned them even more, especially my slow and unsure sounding answer to: “Do you know where you are?”

What the Hell was I supposed to think? Waking up in a hospital, not expecting to be there when I laid down on my own bed AND I had Hello Kitty, Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula and a Ghost asking me questions?

For a moment I felt like I was in Boris Karloff’s Mad Monster ER!

That’s the funny part. The scary part is that at some point woke up from my nap and collapsed, and dear GREAT mom called 911.

The culprit: Walking Pneumonia.

The good news is everything is okay, and I’m good.

Moral of this story: Try not to get sent to ANY ER on Halloween.

Ace Masters

The State of This Is A True Story for 2019

The State of This Is A True Story

The Truth?

Really?

You Sure?

Okay, here is The State of This Is A True Story – There is no State Of! Nope. I just wasn’t writing!

Well, that’s not totally true, I did write some stuff, even in the last few months of 2018. I think I even posted a few things.

But that is going to change for 2019! You will see, for your greedy little eyes, at least 12 True Stories during the course of 2019 – once a month – every Third Thursday.

True.

It’s also True that I WILL keep to the 12 monthly posts (much easier than 52 weekly post a year).

It’s also True that I hope to post more than 12 a year – but we shall see.

There is really only one change to the blog, the True State Of, and that is scaling it back from Weekly to Monthly, which will make everything much easier on me.

Other than that, there will be one addition to the monthly blog: I will end each True Story with a lead-in to the next This Is A True Story.

Everything you have read above, in the past and to come is: TRUE.

Ace Masters

Blog (s) on hiatus

Well, I’ve said this before, I will say it again: HERE WE GO AGAIN.

In August I put out a Blog Statement announcing I was putting my Blogs to a Monthly Schedule for the remainder of 2018 – excluding Raw Flesh.

The plan was to put them back on track on 2019.

Not long after posting that, after much consideration, I decided to put all Blogs, including RAW FLESH, on hiatus until 2019.

This was supposed to have been announced weeks ago, but didn’t happened because I was sick and spent Halloween in the hospital with pneumonia. Getting better was a more of a priority then posting.

In the New Year, the Blogs will return starting from scratch. I need to prioritize certain things and this is the best decision at the moment – and will be better for the Blogs in the long run.

Upon their return The Burning Mind, This Is A True Story, What I Watch I Review and Raw Flesh will be posted on a Monthly Basis. As the year progresses and things play out I may post more often, perhaps even moving back to a bi-weekly or weekly schedule.

Right now, a monthly schedule will be best.

I will however return to doing the Burning Mind weekly Reviews each Saturday.

Wrestlementary will be handled differently – an actual format for Wrestlementary will be figured out and announced later.

All Blogs Will Return with ‘State of’ initial posts on:

• Monday, December 31st – State of the Master
• Tuesday, January 1st – Wrestlementary
• Wednesday, January 2nd – The Burning Mind
• Thursday, January 3rd – This Is A True Story
• Friday, January 4th – What I Watch I Review
• Sunday, January 6th – Raw Flesh

Then, they will resume being posted on what is (for now) planned as the regular Schedule:

• The Burning Mind – Wednesday, January 9th; Then the FIRST Wednesday of Each Month
• This Is A True Story – Thursday, January 17; Then the SECOND Thursday of Each Month
• What I Watch I Review – Friday, January 25; Then the THIRD Friday of Each Month
• Raw Flesh – Sunday, January 27th, Then the FOURTH Sunday of Each Month
• State of the Master – The Last Day of Each Month
• Wrestlementary – TBA

So, for January expect two posts per Blog, then monthly after that. With Wrestlementary’s schedule to come.

I will still be making periodical postings to Facebook and Twitter with updates as we close in on the New Year.

Thanks.

Ace Masters.

I Speak American

Not that long ago I was corrected on the proper use and pronunciation of a very simple word by an elderly lady who took great offense to what I said.

What did I say? Well, read on for the True Tale I call: I Speak American

I actually liked this lady and was doing her a favor on this day. She had a brown, 20-somehthing year old wing back chair she loved and refused to get rid of. It was a nice chair, so I can’t blame her. It stuck in the reclined position one day and she couldn’t get it back upright.

Neither could I when I came over to help her. The problem was fairly simple. An easy fix. I told her I was going to run over to Home Depot to get some new screws and washes.

“You mean Depot (she pronounced it De Pot, not Dee-Poh or Dep-oh).” She said. “Get it right.”

“No, it’s Depot. The ‘T’ is silent.” I respond. I should have let it go, but the “Get it right” irked me. One of my little issues.

“Not in American it isn’t. I speak American.” She said, very proudly.

I was befuddled. I was trying to help her, free I might add, and she went off correcting me on a word I was using properly. Moreover, she claimed to speak a language that doesn’t exist! “You mean English?”

“Are you stupid?” She responded.

I knew this was going to just keep going, so I figured I would just go. She was probably kidding with me any way, even if the stupid jab pissed me off. I told her I was going to get what I needed from Home Depot to fix her chair and I would just be a few minute.

She again corrected me and laid a ‘drop out’ on me. Yes, she accused me of being a drop out and that maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.

I snapped and told her three things. “First off It’s English. There is no such language on the planet as American. Secondly Depot is a French word. Not English and certainly not American. Thirdly, I have a Master’s Degree in Business and I’m a writer. You never even went to High School.” Yes, I went there and dropped that on her. And it’s true, she herself told me she never went to High School.

I didn’t fix the chair for her.

I found out she eventually had a handy man fix it for her, at a cost of almost $200.00.

Ace.

This is a True Story - A Blog Statement

I have recently posted the full Blog Statement on Facebook and my State of the Master Blog (Read Here: http://thestateofthemaster.blogspot.com/2018/08/state-of-master-blog-statement.html)

Few and far between have been my Blog posts. Recently I’ve gotten somewhat back on track, but not enough.

So, long story short – I am announcing a change to This Is A True Story. That is it will be going monthly for the remainder of 2018, starting September – The First Thursday of each month.

In December I will decide whether to keep it monthly, or try going back to the original weekly schedule.

Later,

Ace.

Exciting Blood on Your Hands

This True Story happened about two years ago at an Arizona Wrestling Federation event in Glendale, Arizona. This time I will not be changing the names of any involved.

The people directly involved in this incident were Wrestlementary Crew Member Dave, and wrestlers Alexander Hammerstone and Exciting Evan Daniels.

And it was a Bloody Good Time watching all this happen.

This is a True Story I Call Exciting Blood on Your Hands.

As is normal Dave and I arrived to the show early and took our seats. It’s general seating at these shows, and this time we grabbed front row seat right next to a pillar. It’s a solid, load bearing pillar that spans the entire height of the building.

Rock Solid.

Dave was being Dave, load, vocal, die hard and pissed off Alexander Hammerstone – who was working the show as a Heel. It didn’t help that Dave was wearing an Exciting Evan Daniels shirt that night, Hammerstone’s than arch-enemy, and opponent for the night.

It also didn’t help that Dave made sure to tell Hammerstone that Daniels was going to beat him as he walked by us to the back. Normally, I get in on it and get into it with some of the guys as well, all part of the show.

But I stayed out of it this time, and didn’t have Dave’s back. This was similar too, and not long after, Dave pissing off Randy Orton at Smackdown. Only difference, there was no barrier here and we weren’t thirty feet away.

Hammerstone, as he is known to do, bent over, hands on knees and got into Dave’s face. Looking angry, evil and more devil than god, he told him “Evan Daniels Blood will be on your hands.” It was quite chilling.

It was also quite prophetic.

Later that night, during their match Hammerstone dragged Daniels over to us, held him in front of Dave, and told Dave “This is on you.” He then proceeded to put Daniels head against the pillar . . .  and kick him right in the head.

Blood spilled. A section of the white pillar turned crimson.

Hammerstone than took some of Daniels blood, stood in front of us, and while yelling at Dave, smeared into onto his chest. Then threaten “You’re next.”

So far, Dave is still here.

Ace.

This is a True Story I call WTF!

This True Story is a follow up piece to The Greatest Escape (http://trulyhappened.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-greatest-escape.html). It briefly tell some weird moments after the events of that True Tale.

This is a True Story I call WTF!

I found out after hanging up on her that she planned on moving to the mid-west to be with her father (I forget which state). Her parents had been divorced for years, and she lived here to be close to her mother.

Yes, she planned on moving even after we would have been married and expected me to move with her. Without ever mentioning one word to me. I found out from one of her friends, who also told me I was going to go because “She said so.” Hell no.

A couple of weeks after all this happened she left me a voicemail. She wanted me to meet her at the store where we bought our rings, so we could return them. She had specific instructions: I come alone and she was coming with her brother and cousins.

I had the rings and we had both paid for them. I’m not stupid though, no way was I showing up alone while she brought family. I never answered, and I never went at the time she wanted. I don’t even know if she ever went herself.

Losing out on the money I had put down on the rings was worth it to be rid of her.

Not so long later I found out that she did move back to the mid-west. I felt free.

A few years ago I learned she married some guy and had three kids. After telling me and many other people she couldn’t have kids.

Either way, I was free. Or so I thought.

One day a few weeks after she left I got a call from her mother. A nice lady, if kooky. We talked and she apologized about how Missy treated me and told me a lot of things. This is where I learned about a lot of the lies Missy had told me.

Lies that her mother knew about all the time and never once mentioned even when we were engaged. She would have let me go through with it. Anyway, this confirmed that I made the right move. I got away.

She told me that if I ever needed anything to let her know. She would be there. All the typical stuff one says. I kept in touch with her for a little while, until a true WTF moment happened.

I got a call from her, abruptly letting me know her son was leaving for the week and she wanted me to come over and stay with her. She told me, “I’ll make you forget my daughter.”

HELL NO.

After that, I was finally free.

That final call explained everything.

Ace.

This is a true story I call NOT SO DIFFERENT

Today I experienced two extreme different parts of nature – beautiful and not so beautiful.

This is a true story I call NOT SO DIFFERENT.

About a month ago I borrowed a PS4 game from a friend, this morning I went over to her house to return it. She works from home so it was no big deal going over on a weekday morning. The only catch, she asked be to come into the house through the garage, not the front door and asked me not to go onto the front porch at all.

She never said why, and I just figured she was having some work done. When I parked, she must have seen me as her garage door went up. I went inside, returned the game and never got one word in – not even hello. She grabbed the game and threw it on the kitchen counter, grabbed my arm and had something she wanted to show me.

The reason she wanted me to avoid the porch and front door.

I looked out the front window by the door with her and there it was. There is a tree to the side of the door, at the edge of the window. On the lowest hanging branch, which came just underneath the door frame, sat a Hummingbird Nest. In the nest, three baby Hummingbirds kept popping their heads in and out, looking around.

She didn’t want me to disturb the nest by accident.

Over the course of about half-an-hour of watching, momma Hummingbird flew back and forth a few times, stopping to feed her young, then flying off to find more food.

It was quite a beautiful sight. I had seen young chicks feed before, but not Hummingbirds. The amazing part to me was how fast the mother moved to feed each of the three in turn, without harming any. All one could really see was a blur.

After the little while of watching I had to leave and left through the garage. While walking to my car, I thought I should have taking pictures or some video, but then shrugged it off.

As I came to my car a noise got my attention, I looked over my shoulder toward where I thought the weird noise was coming. I saw the Not So Beautiful sight. In the space between my friend’s house and her neighbor’s two birds were fighting. Chests pumped out, wings flapping, claws slashing. This was NOT two birds playing around.

I saw feathers fly and what looked like blood. The two were clawing, scratching, smacking and even biting each other.

I grabbed a handful of rocks from her yard and threw them over at the two birds to stop the fight. Startled, both birds stopped fighting and flew off. Once they were out of sight, I walked up to where they where and found out what they were fighting over. In the yard was a discarded granola bar wrapper with bits of granola still in it.

The two birds were fighting over food.

I threw the wrapper away as I went to my car. I thought about this – watching a mother feed her young and two others fight over food – not so different from us Humans after all.

Ace.

THE GREATEST ESCAPE . . .

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Great Escape . . .

Once upon a time I had a girlfriend . . . She was kind, nice, hot and I fell in love . . . After two years we decided to get married.

Of course (thank any GOD) that never happened.

This is a true tale I call THE GREATEST ESCAPE . . .

I meet Missy when we worked in the same office. I pursued her for quite a while before we actually started dating. After a period of dating, we broke it off. After a while, we were right back on again – hotter than ever.

Things were very good for a while and we were in love (or at least lust). I know my head was messed up in this and that I was really not thinking straight – otherwise I would have noticed a number of red flags. Or, to be honest, I wouldn’t have just ignored the red flags.

Flags such as abusive ex-boyfriends, ovarian cancer that left her unable to have children and many other claims that I took as truth. The abusive tales of an ex upset me.

Things took a downward spiral after we decided, and announced, we were getting married. A number of people – co-workers who knew her longer than I did, members of her own family – warned me off of marrying her.

One Uncle literally told me: “Run now.”

Of course, I knew better. Right?

Things turn a wicked turn one evening, when she told my parents that if she ever caught me cheating, she would “Jam a steak knife threw his heart.” Yeah, that went over really well.

After that my parents wanted nothing to do with her and refused to have her in their home. She tried to play it off as a joke, but that is not really a joke. I tried mending bridges, but instead, she refused to apologize and turned the blame onto my mother who “Couldn’t take a joke.”

At this point I started having serious doubts about moving forward with this relationship – including thinking about all the stuff she told me. Especially that she wanted to have children after telling me she couldn’t.

I learned – from her father nonetheless – that what she told me was a scar from cancer surgery was actually from appendicitis. I never told him that she told me it was a cancer surgery scar.

The final straw in this, and where my Greatest Escape comes into play, came late on a Friday Night. I was split, part of me wanted to run – the other thought this could be salvaged – the decision would soon be made for me.

Missy called me, wanting to know where I was. I told her I was home, packing, we were supposed to be moving in together within days. Where was she? A party at a friend’s house two hours away, and demanded to know why I wasn’t there.

She didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t there, and wasn’t going to show up. She was pissed and issued me an ultimatum: Come to the Party, or forget everything.

Now, at this point why I was still split is beyond me. I found out she lied about the Cancer, had had two abortions and lied about her abusive exs. More than one family member of hers told me later that she accused a number of boyfriends of abuse when she couldn’t get her way.

Guess what she dropped next? Yep.

She started crying on the phone and pleaded – “Why do you do this to me?” She started accusing me of what she told me her ex’s had done. Then she said, “If you don’t want to get married just tell me.”

I hung up and never talked to her again.

Ace.

This is a State of This is A True Story blog I call: Truthfulness

True Story – I have not posted to This is A True Story in quite a while

True Story – I love to Write, but took a break.

True Story – I usually hate to write about myself, but yet I tell True Tales from my life on this blog.

True Story – Every story I have written is %100 percent true.

True Story – I am making changes in my life and refocusing on projects.

True Story – This is A True Story is part of my writing focus.

True Story – This is A True Story will make its Truthful Return on July 5th.

True Story – This is A True Story’s return true tale will chronicle the greatest escape of my life.

Truthfully Yours,
Ace Masters

WHAT THE HELL?

Okay, some may not believe me, because I have written about it a few times, but my aneurysm doesn’t bother me that much. Truthfully, I am aware that it happened, and take care to pay attention to any small warning signs of another rapture, but other than that it doesn’t affect my life.

This story proves how little I even think about it, and how sometimes I completely forget about it, in a This is a True Story I call

WHAT THE HELL?

For them to do the surgery to repair the raptured blood vessel, they shaved the entire right side of my head – oddly not the left.

One day after being discharged, I had my entire head shaved, almost breaking down into tears.
People I know were split, some believed my hair would grow back, other said no way. I believed it would.

It did. In fact it grow back fuller and thicker than before, slowly, but it came back. In December, after almost a year, I actually needed a haircut! Never been so happy to get one. The first actual haircut of 2014.

After getting my hair cut and getting into my car, I checked out the cut in the mirror and ran my hand through my hair. When I hit a long grove in my skull with my fingers, I started too freaked out.

Seriously, I felt a long grove in my skull. I grabbed my phone to make a call . . .

Then it dawned on me! That was where they cut open my skull for the surgery. I completely forget about it!

Man, was I relieved, and felt silly.

Great to be alive though, and make mistakes like that.

 - Ace Masters

JAMMED – PRINTED – FIRED!

I once worked for a Mental Health company as billing manager, until there were massive cut backs due to idiotic miss-management. My office was closed and I was given three choices: unemployment, custodian at a half-way house, or work at a time-out center for teens and kids.

I choose the time-out center.

One of my new co-workers at the center rubbed me the wrong way. Too stuffed up, elitists, and know-it-all. Always bragging about his family and training to be a Firefighter. Whoopee!

For this job I worked Sunday – Wednesday, from 12P.M. to 10P.M. It really cramped my life in a number of ways.

One day, I got a call asking me to come into work to cover a shift, at 11:45AM. Fifteen minutes before the shift started. I wanted the overtime, so I went in. That is when I learned the story I call

JAMMED – PRINTED – FIRED!

I don’t even remember this guy’s name, but I remember him and that I couldn’t stand his ass. I didn’t work the same shift as him fortunately, but at times did have to work with him. It was hard being around a jackass like this.

The center dealt mostly with children and the occasional teens. It was a place where parents could bring their children for a 24-hour time out. Many of these children were disabled. It was our job to watch them and just take care of them for our shifts.

I went in and found out they wanted me to cover ‘Mr. Training to be a Firefighter’s’ shift. And asked if I would cover a few more nights until they hired someone new. This is when I found out he was fired that morning . . .

It was later in the evening when I found out why he was fired . . . and why he lost any chance at being a Firefighter.

We were allowed to use the computers, and even surf the net to some degree. Many things were blocked and we all had unique logins. This day there was one computer locked down and off limits.

One of my closet friends was one of the main IT guys for the company and come into the center around 6pm that day. He logged onto the locked computer and started to work. He told me what happened.

That morning, the center’s Director called IT because the printer wasn’t working. My friend came in, fixed the printer, and it started to print the last print job sent . . . A series of Hard Core porn images!

Mr. Holier-Than-Thou Training to be a Fireman got caught. He somehow was watching Porn and printed it out on the work computer, on his overnight shift, with kids in the building.

I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved it. It was the best thing that could happen to this guy.

Unfortunately for him, when his Father-in-Law, the assistant Fire Chief, found out, he was dropped from training.

His Wife – pregnant at the time – didn’t take kindly to it either.

 - Ace Masters

LESSON BY PUNCH

I have never really prided myself on being the ‘nice’ guy. Respectful, sure. Cool, yes.

Yet, there was a time in my life in which I was a jackass, and a borderline bully. I learned a very hard lesson, very quickly and it made an impact on me immediately.

This is a True Story I call, LESSON BY PUNCH.

This took place in England, when my dad was still in the US Air Force and I was going to school on the base. We lived off base in the closet town on ‘Base Housing.’ This happened on a cold, winter morning while a bunch of us military brats were waiting for the school buses.

My best friend at the time lived across the street, with his parents and two older brothers.

I was eleven at the time and his one brother was 16 or 17. A big boy too, even at his age he was pushed near three hundred pounds. A lot of people teased him about it, even me.

This one morning I took it way too far – “Fatty,” “Fat Boy” and I’m sure other degrading comments about his size. I don’t remember everything I said, but I know I crossed a line and I learned it the hard way when he Punched Me in the face.

He Punched Me as the bus rolled up to a stop. He was pissed, walked onto the bus and sat by himself. I got on and sat well away from him. My nose was bleeding fairly badly, and at first I thought he broke it. Of course the bus driver didn’t give a damn.

Under any other circumstances I would have be pissed, and yeah probably have started a fight. I wasn’t though, I was more embarrassed at this point and was trying to hide the bloody nose from fellow students on the bus.

Once we were at the base, he went to the High School and I went to the Middle School across the street. I went straight to the nurse to get checked out. I was bleeding, but nothing broken. She asked what happened – and I’m sure she knew someone hit me – but I wouldn’t tell her.

Over the course of the day my nose stopped bleeding, felt better and I thought a lot. I never expected him to hit me, he never had before. I thought a lot about why he did, and finally came to realize who was at fault.

We took separate busses home, and he was just getting off his bus when mine pulled up. I rushed off my bus and went after him, he didn’t want to know me, but I got him to talk to me for a moment, away from the gaze of both our parents.

I apologized to him. I said the words, “I’m sorry.” And told him why, from the heart. He apologized for hitting me, and let me know how much I had hurt him.

I made amends right there. For the next few years both are fathers were stationed there, we were friends. I never teased him again.

I rarely made fun of someone because of their weight or looks after that. Or really bullied anyone. I learned my lesson on that day.

Guess what? I deserved that punch in the face.

 - Ace Masters

Bully Frog

I have always loved animals. Always. Especially Rabbits, Dog and Lizards.

Yep Lizards and snakes. I love snakes. Was never allowed to have one as a pet when I was a kid, and don’t have one now. Maybe one day.

I did however has lots of little friends when I was a kid: lizards, yard snakes and frogs. Especially frogs.
This True Tail takes place in the early 1980’s when I was about 7 or 8 years old. My dad was stationed at Canon Air Force Base in New Mexico, and we lived on the base. Behind our house was a big open field with lots of trees and bushes. Off to the west of the house was a tennis court and basketball court. Just behind them was a small ravine.

The area around the ravine had an ecosystem all its own. Beautiful tall trees, lush bushes, a ton of mud. In the bushes and ton of mud where a ton more of FROGS. All types of frogs lived there. From tiny little tree frogs, to huge Bull Frogs.

This tale is about one particular Bull Frog I name Bully!

Bully Frog

I spent a lot of time among those bushes and trees, playing, feed, capturing the frogs. One frog in particular always had my interest, and one day I finally caught the big slippery bastard. I just wasn’t able to keep him.

That is, Mom wouldn’t let me keep him when she found out I had him in the house.

When I finally caught him, I put him into a bucket and loaded the bucket down with bugs for him to eat. I took him home, snuck him into the house and hid him in my room. I took a long storage container from the garage and turned it into a habitat.

I filled it with some mud, leaves, dead bugs and a little tray of water. I did this one day while my parents were visiting the neighbors next door. I hid him under my bed – smart move! He was there for about three or four days. I feed him more bugs each day and took him out at night and let him hop around – while my parents slept.

Then I came home from school and found the container from under my bed sitting on the kitchen table. Mom found Bully! I was in trouble! First thing I did was check the container and make sure he was okay. He was.

Then I faced the music. Mom wasn’t upset over Bully. She was more upset that I brought dirt, mud and bugs into the house, and the mess underneath my bed.

I argued to keep Bully that I would take care of him, play with him. She argued that keeping him wasn’t right, he might have a family (typical mom arguments, right?). I was allowed to keep him until the weekend then I would have to let him go.

It came to fast for my 7 or 8 year old self. I knew mom was right, but still . . .

I put him on the step to the front door, and sat down with him and feed him. He actually ate out of my hand believe it or not. Eventually he hopped around exploring our small enclosed front patio. After a few minutes I picked him up, to take him back to the ravine, but not before I did something.

I put a stripe down his back with a red marker. I could see it clearly when I finished. He didn’t like it though and squirmed out of my hand and jumped to the ground. He hopped off toward the ravine. I followed him all the way until he hopped into the base of a bush and out of sight.

I put some food at the area where I last saw him, waited for a few minutes, then went off to play with some friends at the basketball court.

I don’t know how long I was there, but when I heard mom calling I ran home. I checked on the way back, and the food was gone. I was sad that I couldn’t keep him, but glad that I knew where he would be.

Here’s the part that you won’t believe, but it’s true. A few days later I was leaving the house and there was a big frog in the front, enclosed patio just sitting there, with a red stripe on its back! It was Bully! I quickly picked up my little friend and feed him. I also showed my mom that he came back.

I didn’t keep him. I let him go.

Every so often, Bully would show up on the front porch looking for food, and I gladly feed and loved my little buddy. Today, as an adult thinking back I realized he probably came looking for food, and knew where to find it. I probably knew that somewhere deep inside as a kid too, but I thought that he also came to see me.

 - Ace Masters

PLAYING THE MARKETEER

Don’t you hate telemarketing calls?

Me too.

Well, read on to see how my mom and I handled one the other day in this True Story I call PLAYING THE MARKETEER.

The other day my mom and I were having lunch when the home phone rang, with a number coming out of Colorado. The answering machine picked up, but whoever called hung up. We ignored it.

Almost immediately my cell phone rang, it was the same number. I answered, the person on the other side asked for William . . . This was not good, William was my father, who died in 2009. I asked who this was, then my mom pounced.

“If you can find him, please let me know,” She said. Yep, she went there.

There was dead silence on the other end. I thought the guy hung up, he didn’t. “Is he missing?” he asked.

My mom repeated herself. This guy seemed in shocked and asked again, “Is he missing?”

I asked him how he got this number. He didn’t answer for a few seconds, then said, “Give me a minute. I just found out something disturbing.”

“What?” My mom asked.

“William is missing?” He said/asked again.

“How did you get this number?” I asked again.

This is where he slipped. “It’s on the paper they give us.”

“This was never my dad’s number,” I repeated, “how did you get this number.”

“It’s on the list of numbers they give us to call,” he said. He was really rattled by what my mom said, more or less admitting what he was.

“Well, like I said, if you can find him, tell him to get in contact with me.” My mom said.

“I’m sorry . . .” The guy muttered than hung up.

Yeah, we played the telemarketer, and this guy seemed really rattled by my mom. No one said my dad was missing, but he took my mom’s comment to mean he was, and for some reason that bothered him.

In case you’re wondering, no, this guy couldn’t have been a friend or family member of my dad. If he was he would never have called him William. My dad only ever went by Bill, and hated to be called William.

 - Ace Masters

Paper and Fire

Some people are just stupid.

Something I really hate is when people give out my cell number and tell other people I will do things, without asking me or telling me anything.

I also don’t like it when people just expect me to drop what I am doing and come running. People may not like this, but I’m not “Mister Helpful.”

This is one of those time in a True Story I call Paper and Fire.

Over Christmas I got an odd call from an elderly lady – a nutcase of a woman I really don’t like. I don’t know how she got my number, but for some reason she is convinced then when she needs me, I will come running. She has told me so.

This is an ongoing thing.

Anyway, she called me around 5:00 P.M. telling me she needed me to come over and burn some papers for her. Yep, burn paper. She didn’t give a damn that I had plans.

She had bank statements and other sensitive papers she needed me to “burn in a bucket.” Her exact words. I told her to shred the papers, it would be faster and safer. She claimed she didn’t know how to use the shredder, her late husband use to do it.

It would only take a few minutes, she told me.

Yep, this woman expected me to drop everything I had planned to run over to her house and burn paperwork. Never mind that that is illegal in Arizona!

Some people are just nuts.

No, I didn’t go over.

 - Ace Masters