Not that long ago I was corrected on the proper use and pronunciation of a very simple word by an elderly lady who took great offense to what I said.
What did I say? Well, read on for the True Tale I call: I Speak American
I actually liked this lady and was doing her a favor on this day. She had a brown, 20-somehthing year old wing back chair she loved and refused to get rid of. It was a nice chair, so I can’t blame her. It stuck in the reclined position one day and she couldn’t get it back upright.
Neither could I when I came over to help her. The problem was fairly simple. An easy fix. I told her I was going to run over to Home Depot to get some new screws and washes.
“You mean Depot (she pronounced it De Pot, not Dee-Poh or Dep-oh).” She said. “Get it right.”
“No, it’s Depot. The ‘T’ is silent.” I respond. I should have let it go, but the “Get it right” irked me. One of my little issues.
“Not in American it isn’t. I speak American.” She said, very proudly.
I was befuddled. I was trying to help her, free I might add, and she went off correcting me on a word I was using properly. Moreover, she claimed to speak a language that doesn’t exist! “You mean English?”
“Are you stupid?” She responded.
I knew this was going to just keep going, so I figured I would just go. She was probably kidding with me any way, even if the stupid jab pissed me off. I told her I was going to get what I needed from Home Depot to fix her chair and I would just be a few minute.
She again corrected me and laid a ‘drop out’ on me. Yes, she accused me of being a drop out and that maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.
I snapped and told her three things. “First off It’s English. There is no such language on the planet as American. Secondly Depot is a French word. Not English and certainly not American. Thirdly, I have a Master’s Degree in Business and I’m a writer. You never even went to High School.” Yes, I went there and dropped that on her. And it’s true, she herself told me she never went to High School.
I didn’t fix the chair for her.
I found out she eventually had a handy man fix it for her, at a cost of almost $200.00.
Ace.
